


Role Reversal

by Postsynthcomrade5



Category: The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Medical, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Anarchy, British Comedy, Cameos, Doctors & Physicians, Fights, Homosexuality, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Medical Conditions, Medical Device, Medical Examination, Medical Jargon, Medical Procedures, Nurses & Nursing, Role Reversal, Slapstick, United Kingdom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-02 19:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15803223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Postsynthcomrade5/pseuds/Postsynthcomrade5
Summary: a different take on how they met (note: this is an alternate universe)(this is also mainly told from Vyvyan's perspective)Vyvyan gets beaten up in a fight and ends up in Hospital while there he meets Rick, a medical student who he often teases but enjoys the company of, his university mate Neil who has plans for their future and Mike a con artist.(note: there are some references to mental health specifically in chapter 3)





	1. Chapter 1: Vyvyan goes to Hospital

There were a crowd of fascists in the street and Vyvyan was with his gang ready to smash the fash

 

Vyvyan had his trusty cricket bat with him at the fight as he prepared to strike

 

A brawl had begun

 

Noses were punched, knobs were kicked and it came to an end

 

News reporters were joining to interview the onlookers, the police arrived to arrest the fascists and Vyvyan was beaten up

 

His nose was bleeding, his shoulder was dislocated and he felt like he was going to be sick

 

Vyvyan shrugged off the selfish journos as he was happy that the fash got what they deserved he couldn’t say the same for himself though

 

People were intimidated by Vyvyan but he didn’t want help any way he tried to keep his composure but the pain was excruciating

 

eventually, an ambulance arrived and escorted him to hospital.

he hated Hospitals, he hated doctors and nurses, he hated the whole lot.

 

he looked up at the ceiling while he was wheeled over to a ward

he was then placed onto a bed, while various doctors and nurses got out medical instruments and paperwork 

some doctors and nurses tried to clean up his wounds, others were applying wires and patches onto his hand 

while it was a standard procedure, for Vyvyan it was a bit too much,he kept quiet until some quack pushed his shoulder back into place,this made him scream,he liked horror movies,but this time he felt like the victim of one howling out in agony as he felt his bone get reconnected and he felt the uncomfortable sensory feelings of the machines and wires attached to him 

 

He was kept overnight, some docs left the room, some didn't, people kept fidgeting with his body like he was an animal, he ended up throwing a fit,

he shook in panic stuttering his words, as his arms and legs frantically staggered about on his hospital bed trying to punch or kick anyone who came near him.

while the medical staff shouted amongst each other,one of them walked up to him,he was one of the student nurses,he had a fringe with pigtails at the back, looking about the same age Vyvyan was,his uniform was light pink and his name tag said.."Rick"

he quietly crept up to Vyvyan as he attempted a punch but Rick swiftly dodged the punch, Vyvyan couldn't even aim the punch his hand felt too painful, Rick lightly held Vyvyan's wrist, his hand felt ice cold compared to his warm body temperature

 

Rick then walked back to where the rest of the doctors were as he cleared his throat about to say something 

he pushed them aside about to rant his voice sounding stuck up but calming 

"Alright fascists stop clamouring around the patient leave him with me I'll sort this out"

The doctors understood as they walked to the back of the room

Rick addressed Vyvyan in a softer tone "Listen I know this is frightening, he then made a gurning facial expression at the others

"I don't like half of these people either", he then begun counting, Vyvyan tried to count too, his senses focusing more on the

this mysterious man and the numbers as he started breathing in and out while he said each number.

 he was starting to calm down as Rick stopped counting and picked up a syringe from the nearby trolley

the syringe surprisingly had no needle inside it, as Rick held the syringe and pressed it into Vyvyan's mouth as medicine was orally sprayed onto his tongue, the taste was a typical chemical medicine scent but it was way better than the sting of an injection 

He looked up to see him pressing the syringe into his mouth he had quite a feminine sounding voice but something drew Vyvyan to Rick.

after administering the medicine, Vyvyan had settled

Rick then turned his eyebrows as he started to scold him albeit in a less aggressive tone to when he was yelling at the others 

To Vyvyan, Rick just sounded like a whiny ponce

 “I get you were trying to, he then made gestures with his two fingers, smash the fash but you were basically walking on eggshells considering how careless you were at the fight”

 Vyvyan rolled his eyes waiting for Rick to shut up 

Rick said,

“You should’ve been more careful I swear the NHS get too many of your type these days”

Vyvyan scoffed and said,

  
“More Careful? you mean weak and letting the fash walk over us like how you let those higher in your workplace walk over you because of you being a trainee to them”

Rick was offended,

“You take that back sir”

 

Vyvyan raised his eyebrow

 

“Sir? I’m not Winston Churchill you know”

Rick smirked,

 “Then what’s your name then I’d like to hear it”

 

Vyvyan made an empty threat

 “If you don’t want to get hurt tell the others to leave”

 

Rick regained his composure as he addressed the other doctors,

“Right...the patient and I are going to have a private talk so could you leave me with him?”

 

One of the doctors nodded,

 

“Certainly”

 

The rest of the doctors left the room

Rick softened his voice as he addressed him 

 “So, what’s your name?”

 Vyvyan folded his hands mumbling,

 “Vyvyan, Vyvyan Basterd"

 

Rick was taken aback by the strange surname,

“Oh, I apologize about the squabble earlier, he then held his hand out shaking Vyvyan's hand politely, I'm Rick"

Vyvyan shrugged,

“That’s not my real surname but I can’t remember the old one...ever since I?"  Vyvyan then remembered that he shouldn't mention his secret, he paused and looked away, “Nevermind”

 Rick understood nodding his head,

 

“I understand Vyvyan but to avoid more incidents like today I’m going to have to put on restraints”

 

Vyvyan let out a yawn and relaxed on his bed 

 “Do what you want I’m tired anyway”

Before applying the restraints, Rick  wrapped a bandage over Vyvyan's shoulder, he then got out a basin for him to vomit in after that was all done, he started to prepare the restraints, the restraints looked like a short cream coloured belt as they were delicately tied over Vyvyan's legs

 By the time he was done tying them, Vyvyan had fallen asleep Rick took the blanket and pulled it over before smiling and quietly walking out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2: Impatient patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vyvyan is trying to adjust to Hospital life but less of that involves resting and more seeing how many pranks he can pull on Rick in one day.

The Next day Vyvyan awoke from his hospital bed feeling miserable, his mouth was full of vomit, his nose was sniffly and he had a headache, he lay in his bed tossing and turning before deciding to pick up the tv remote and turn the tv on.

Vyvyan fidgeted with his nose until he overheard the door creak open, thinking it was some doctor he hid under the covers.

Only to see it was just that stuck up irritating Rick bloke.

Vyvyan got out from under the covers and crawled back into the position he was in before.

 

Rick walked in grinning happily as he undid the window blinds and stood by Vyvyan's bed

“Morning Vyvyan,” he said 

 

Vyvyan already hated the revolting smile on Rick's face it made him want to vomit more than he already had he groaned and said, "Piss off”

 Rick brushed off the vulgar answer maintaining his cheery facial expression,

“Well that’s a great way to start the morning isn’t it?”  Vyvyan said, “What else is there to do besides watching tv, reading, and sleeping?" Rick tried to think, “ummm.. breathing, eating and talking?”

Vyvyan cut him off, “I could care less about any of that I would eat but I feel like crap”  he paused as his nose started gushing with blood and he felt like he wanted to throw up.

Rick took out a clipboard and asked him  “Could you describe what it is that is making you feel like crap?” Vyvyan explained his symptoms to him, "my mouth is rank, my head is throbbing and my nose is running with blood"

Rick put his clipboard down reaching his hand into a box of his tissues on the nightstand and handed one to him. Vyvyan held the tissue over his nose until the bleeding stopped.

Vyvyan tried throwing up in his bowl again but unexpectedly that wasn't enough it was half full as his vomiting was excessive

 so Rick got out a suction machine to clear the remains when he walked off to put the machine away he arrived back with a tray containing a cup of what looked to be a soft drink.

 

When Vyvyan drank the concoction it tasted like cola with dissolved tablets mixed in he kept slowly drinking it when Rick asked, “So What do you do for a living?”

Vyvyan said, "I’m an anti-fascist activist, I study sociology at university and I listen to punk and metal"  Rick was intrigued and said  “Interesting I’m an anarchist but I study medicine I listen to a bit of punk myself but I’m more of a synthpop,Cliff Richard, Dexys or the Smiths person".

 Vyvyan joked, “If your an anarchist why do you work for the medical system? and aargh! Dexy’s the band parading that jingle come on Eileen through the radio stations it does my head in”

 Rick said proudly "I’m a student nurse because I believe the NHS is horrifically underfunded and if I can help patients here or even overseas that makes me happy that I can help so many people”

 Vyvyan mocked him, "Champagne socialist more like”  Rick was offended “Don’t you dare call me that!” he shouted  Vyvyan attempted another fist fight but was too bored so he got out of bed when he said in a lighter tone " You know what I’m feeling quite better I’ll be going now”

 Rick tried to stop him, “Oh no you don’t”  Vyvyan waddled over to the wheelchair in his room and whizzed off along the hospital hallways while a tired and irritated Rick chased him.

 “Vyvyan I swear ….YOU BASTARD”

 when he yelled at Vyvyan who was hiding in the recreation room he then had to apologize to a certain Doctor Balowski who had overheard the obscene yelling.

 Rick plastered an awkward smile on his face as he nervously sweated at the sight of the aggressive looking Doctor Balowski,

 “Ah ha! Sorry, Doctor Balowski, I was talking to myself again silly habit god bless” he cheerfully gestured as he tried to look for Vyvyan he looked around but got distracted when he found an old hippie watering some plants nearby whom he had bumped into

 “Blast, Oh sorry Mr...um hippie? I’m just looking for a patient”

 The hippie had long hair, a cross necklace, a flower crown and looked like  a paper cut out of a Woodstock photo,

 “Hey man it’s ok no need to be heavy about it”

 Rick started to inhale and exhale

 The hippie mumbled again, “Besides the flowers were already poisoned by the sight of me”

 Rick chuckled to himself, “What nonsense flowers cannot simply wilt after being watered”

 The Hippie shook his head 

“Well I think so”

 Rick said,

“What on earth gave you that superstition?”

 The Hippie moaned

“I’m just a dirty, self-deprecating Hippie who hasn’t slept in weeks”

 Rick started to scoff

“You must be joking”

 The Hippie said,

“I’m not I don’t want cancer

 Rick chuckled again

“Cancer has a variety of causes but sleeping isn’t one of them, then again who can sleep with all the nuclear war news anyways?... what’s your name matey?”

 The hippie introduced himself,

“Neil, Neil Wheedon Walkins Pye”

 Rick was surprised that he had a name like that

“Now that’s a classy name for someone like you”

Rick remembered he was supposed to be looking for Vyvyan, “I must dash now” Neil shouted, “Uh ok sorry for bothering you" Rick shouted back  “You didn’t”

 Rick ran back to Vyvyan’s room and there he was acting as nothing had happened.

 Until Vyvyan forcefully tied Rick to the hospital bed with restraints

 Rick began to whine, “Fascist stop that now it’s you who needs restraints not me” Vyvyan smirked flicking a v gesture in his face as he started playfully messing with Rick moving his head up and down, squeezing his nose and slapping him silly

 Rick was annoyed but secretly enjoying it at least it wasn’t like when other patients would try viciously attacking him. Vyvyan kept messing around when a man in a suit walked in he had gelled black hair and matching shades.

The man introduced himself “I'm Mike Would I interest you in a way to turn your cash into gold”  Vyvyan wasn't interested, “I’m not a capitalist so no thanks piss off”

 Rick said enthusiastically “Well if you could turn my student loans into gold that would be splendid” Vyvyan then held his hand over Rick’s mouth yelling “shut up you poof”

 The man said “If you want the deal give me a thousand pounds by the end of the week” Vyvyan nodded, as the man left. Rick tried to pry his mouth from Vyvyan’s hand once he did he exhaled.

 Vyvyan was disgusted,  “Ugh now my hand is all sticky thanks to you not keeping your gob shut”. Rick cut him off, “Excuse Me”

 Footsteps could be overheard as other doctors were on their way Vyvyan hated Rick but didn’t want him to lose his job reputation so he undid the restraints and clambered back into bed while Rick got out a medicine bottle of ibuprofen tried to mimic that he was giving it to him.

when the doctors checked up on them, they could see things were normal and left.


	3. Chapter 3: Vyvyan's secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vyvyan learns something about himself while telling Rick a secret.

 Now they were alone again, no doctors to bother them just a very angry Rick and a very angry Vyvyan.  Rick scolded, “You are going to be the end of me” Vyvyan shouted back, “This probably will be the end of me too, do I look like I want to be here?"

Rick said, “Do I look like I want to be here? being bossed around just because I’m the trainee, Agism is so pointless”. Rick stopped shouting, “Well, this isn’t who I want to be, I could be out there on the streets protesting like you trying to change this bloody country for the better, but now I'm stuck here in this medical prison, where my colleagues degrade and ignore me,some patients claw me like furious tigers and I have to go around looking after you because the rest of the staff can't be bothered 

Vyvyan, however, did keep shouting.“Me neither do you think this what I want at 23?” Rick nodded calming down, “We should stop this teasing we are acting like children” Vyvyan stopped shouting and smirked at him.

 Rick started to scoff, failing at hiding how he truly felt  “Wipe that grin off your face did I look like I was enjoying myself?..being pinched, pulled and teased... he then smirked,

"I suppose you fancy me is that it?"

 

Vyvyan turned his head, Rick blushed bright red, his teeth rattled together  but since he and Vyvyan were alone he was happy  so he shut him up with a kiss

 he playfully said “you poof get off me” Rick smirked back “this poof knows your secret” as he and Vyvyan enjoyed the smooch until Vyvyan raised an eyebrow “What secret?”

 Rick paused trying to think, he only knew Vyvyan for two days but like with most patients he knew a lot about them, he looked at the forms again realizing he hadn’t looked to see if Vyvyan had any previous incidents in his medical history.

“Vyvyan?” Vyvyan turned his head, Rick asked, “When you said you couldn’t remember your old surname because you did something, was it a surgery or previous treatment that altered your memory?”

Vyvyan chuckled to himself, “Up yours! my memory’s fine, Are you looking for another arm wrestle by asking that question?”

Rick hesitated, “No, No thank you I’m just curious to what it was”. Vyvyan leaned in close and mumbled, “You promise you won’t tell your capitalist doctor friends this?”

Rick coldly joked about the remark before getting back into his serious tone “I barely know those twats you can trust me..so Vyv what was it?”

Vyvyan said, “I was called Vyvyan before it was just spelt differently...I wasn’t always a man”  Rick was taken aback but kept listening, “I transitioned a few years back it was a long rocky process of binding, patches, and medications,I can't even remember what my dead surname was all I know is that is something I was frequently called and something that made people know not to mess with me”

 Rick understood

Vyvyan continued to explain,

“Nobody really got what it felt like, I had to start over, but it wasn’t the first time I was ostracized by others because of who I was”

“When I was little I was a mess,sometimes I’d be a calm child but other times if a miserable sod was violently fighting  me I’d hit back but I’d end up getting in trouble it wasn’t self defense to the teachers I was just being “disruptive”  after those playground fights I’d just play alone I didn't care for socializing and it wasn’t until I got older that I learned how to be independent and more reserved despite extreme mood swings but to society I was still not normal.”

Rick took out a textbook, saying the DSM-3 as he flicked through the pages when he found one of the problems that Vyvyan was describing Vyvyan shouted, “I guess that says my brain is a car crash"

 Rick said “Nobody’s brain is like a car crash don’t be ridiculous but I guess sensory overload is like a out of control car when it’s speeding down a highway”

 Rick read the page “Some of those symptoms you described are a result of  Autism Spectrum Disorder symptoms include problems with social skills, being independent and sensory overload as well as many others" he closed the textbook,

"But not all symptoms apply to every autistic person that’s a common misconception."

 Vyvyan facepalmed himself “Great I’m a loony I’ve heard of that autism thing with autistic adults society talks to them like they are children it’s sad to see intelligent people like them be talked down to so often I never knew that I had it myself maybe that explains why the everyone in the world hates me.”

 Rick said “Your not a loony that’s just what the mental health stigma says, that stigma is plaguing society but your normal there might be some differences in the social and sensory department but you are you-you aren’t what society or a ruddy textbook says you are, you are a playful confident person who isn’t afraid to speak his mind...I don’t hate you.”

 

Vyvyan stared still looking upset    Rick said, “That chase earlier made me feel so alive, to tell you the truth I never really had friends as a child and the ones I did have I made just by following the wrong crowd,I was brought up in a tory household so I would have to repress some of my more flamboyant emotions but I actually found this afternoon quite fun.”

 

 Vyvyan was surprised at the start he simply wanted to annoy Rick but he was shocked that Rick actually enjoyed the mayhem honestly he was having fun too he decided to hug him.

 

Rick enjoyed the hug, the diagnosis was surprising but it did answer some of Vyvyan’s questions about his childhood and at least Rick understood how he felt.

 

After Vyvyan had his lunch and dinner he was asleep, Rick’s shift was over for the day.

 

When Rick was sitting at home with his teacup and jaffa cakes he decided to fumble with his cassette collection until he found some cassettes he had of Misfits, Motorhead and KISS.

 

He put them on and started dancing around the room, he put on some dark makeup and grabbed a broom hopping around strumming it like it was a guitar.

 

As Rick tried to sleep he kept thinking about Vyvyan and the song Ace of spades and how it would be fun if Vyvyan was there  with him he tried to snap out of it but he realized he had feelings for Vyv feelings he would never have for any other patient.


	4. Relaxing and Video Nasties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vyvyan and Rick have started getting along,in a different way than they expected so they just start watching horror movies together.

For the next few days when Rick visited Vyvyan, he would try to make sure he’d spend more time with him

So they’d get to know each other even more.

 Rick would sometimes let Vyvyan listen to his cassettes, they’d give commentary on whatever political issue was on the news and they had a blast chasing each other and if they weren’t chasing each other Rick was actually doing work, what he was supposed to be doing.

Like wiping and stitching the wounds on Vyvyan’s forehead, giving him medicine and checking his blood pressure.

Vyvyan started to get used to the old routine, he was settling in well if he needed restraints Rick would try his best to make sure Vyvyan was comfortable when he would tie the restraints and if sensory overload was kicking off Rick was able to help. Sometimes they'd ramble about their past to each other and other times they'd chase each other like before, One night they were watching a VHS tape of Poltergeist and it was the scene where the clown crept up.

Rick jumped as he screamed falling off the bed while Vyvyan laughed at him

 he got back onto the bed and they chuckled through the night

when Rick asked him, "have you ever been in love before?" Vyvyan sipped his tea and said, "Let me think...No", Rick leaned his head in close to him, "I have", Vyvyan tilted his head "with who?" Rick smiled "I can't say"

Vyvyan laughed to himself "Come on you can tell me", Rick said "No you'll call me a poof again" Vyvyan smiled "I won't

 

Rick sighed before he said, "You" 

 Vyvyan blinked but he felt happy knowing that fact he leaned next to Rick as they watched the rest of the film.

 

 when the film ended they cuddled before Rick had to go home, again even when he wasn't with Vyvyan he'd still often think about him

 

they were inseparable.


	5. Neil?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick has to go and work so Vyvyan is left alone....or is he?

Vyvyan's head had been stitched, his nose had stopped bleeding like before but he still felt nauseous, apparently before he took part in the fight he had caught a virus that would explain the ongoing headaches and stomach upsets.

 Rick asked, "Were you aware you caught this?" Vyvyan shook his head, "Nope all I knew was that often I'd throw up, I'd get headaches often" Vyvyan gulped, "and other problems" Rick said, "Did you go to your GP to get it checked?"

Vyvyan said, "No I wasn't going to go to some quack just so they could prod all over me that and I get the nerves when I try organizing a doctors appointment", Rick processed the information as he wrote some notes, "I see"

Vyvyan shrugged, "Other than daily medication that was all I got when it came to taking Doctors orders," Rick said, "When was the last time you went to a doctor?" Vyvyan tried to remember, "when I was a teenager"

Rick inhaled, "Oh dear,  Vyvyan said, "So, What since I have a virus will I be Quarantined?", Rick finished writing the notes "No it's not that severe but you will have to be under surveillance so it doesn't spread"

Vyvyan nodded, "understandable", Rick put the notes on the nightstand as he set up some cubicle curtains, "Right so Vyv I'll have to work with others today but I'll try to visit later"

Rick then walked off.  For the rest of day, Vyvyan had to take ORS packets while he relaxed watching horror action film tapes.

During that time alone he actually missed Rick a bit.

between the same nightmare on elm street and bbc2 repeats, that Neil bloke paid a visit 

Vyvyan turned his head surprised, "sod off", Neil walked in wearing a construction mask as he rearranged the potted plants, he blinked as he recognized Neil "Hey, Neil long time no see", Neil watered the plants as he heard Vyvyan calling him

"Oh hey, Vyvyan you study sociology isn't that right?", Vyvyan smirked nodding "Yep I got into a bit of a fight though you study Peace Studies don't you?", Neil nodded in agreement "that sounds very heavy Vyv"

Vyvyan said, "It was hopefully in a few days I can leave this place," Neil said, "Have you thought about student housing? I know we've been busy with our courses but how about me and you move into this neat house I saw"

 "I was riding my bike through Bristol and I found this nice house it's next to a pub called the Kebab and Calculator", Vyvyan liked the idea of living near a pub "Kebab and calculator sounds great I think my mum used to work there"

Neil was puzzled "what did she do to get in the slammer?", Vyvyan recollected his memories, "Shoplifting, she was quite the kleptomaniac" Neil nodded, "visiting time must be nice"

Vyvyan shook his head,

"Not really, the last gift she gave me was an empty Malibu bottle"

Neil felt excited about moving out, "Oh then maybe moving to this Bristol house would be our chance for freedom, Vyvyan said, "Why are you in this medical prison anyway?"

Neil said, "I volunteer here I work with alternative medicine and therapy  I have this mask on because they say you have a virus, " Vyvyan said, "It's not that bad of a virus I, he clutched at his stomach (which was bubbling in pain) feel fine, Ah! that hurts"

Neil looked concerned "Are you sure your fine Vyv?", Vyvyan smiled innocently "never better" he coughed, "Have you been able to slosh since you were admitted?"Vyvyan raised an eyebrow, "what kind of question is that? of course, I have, like once or twice"

Vyvyan then took a bathroom break but when he arrived back he was still clutching his stomach, Neil shook his head, "That sounds heavy  do you need laxatives?"

Vyvyan got back onto his bed and dropped his jaw, "Why all these questions?, No I don't, I wonder what would happen though if I downed some?"

Neil said, "Not much Vyv that would cause some terrible trouble anyways I should get back to work this is irrelevant", Neil then left the room

 Vyvyan enjoyed the chat he had with Neil when suddenly Mike the suited man from before arrived, "What the hell?" Vyvyan yelled, "So where are the thousand pounds I asked for?" Vyvyan remembered, "how about I challenge you to something first?"

Mike rubbed his hands eagerly, "Alright what's the challenge?" , Vyvyan then bribed Mike into getting a video game console into his room so he and Mike could challenge each other to rounds of Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, and other games

Mike forgot about his deal and just enjoyed playing the games with him.

Mike said: "So Vyv where's the thousand pounds?"

Vyvyan focused on the game he was playing, "You'll get it once we finish this level"

Mike stared at the tv screen, "How hard can it be to make pixelized burgers anyway?"

Vyvyan smirked while he fidgeted the controller, "Hey, Mike would you like to play video games daily?"

Mike winked while he focused on the game "It would be better than lying for a living"

the game came to an end as Vyvyan looked through his wallet giving Mike the thousand pounds

Vyvyan nudged to him, "Would you like to live with me and my mate Neil in Bristol?"

Mike blinked cheerfully, "That would be nice yeah I'd be up for that"

Vyvyan gave a thumbs up as he stood up and disassembled the controllers 

"Great, talk to Neil he'll tell you the details he works in the alternative medicine/therapy department it's down the corridor"

 "I will thank you Vyv" Mike then ran off to talk to Neil 

Vyvyan was again alone 

he'd play some more video games

he'd watch more tv 

and sometimes he'd just have a kip (Nap).


	6. Botty Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Vyvyan's astrovirus has been causing unusual problems?  
> and will he get to see Rick for much longer now he's on the road to recovery?
> 
> (WARNING:the description of a certain medical procedure used in this chapter might be disturbing to some readers)

Naps, Eating while watching television and reading that was how Vyvyan spent his afternoon, he would take some breaks in between but that pain from the day before still lingered.

Then Rick returned

Vyvyan smirked as he pretended to look like he was reading an article in a magazine 

when Rick walked through the curtains Vyvyan flicked a v gesture 

as Rick closed the curtains he flicked the same gesture as he smiled,

"Miss Me?"

Vyvyan chuckled to himself,

"No, I've been busy"

Rick noticed the game console 

"sounds fun I would've joined if I wasn't sorting out bedpans, medicines and all that rubbish"

"Anyways let's give you a check-up"

Vyvyan laid down on the bed "Alright matey,you know best"

while Rick examined him Vyv looked like he was in good health with the exception of his virus ridden stomach.

Rick said

"How do you feel?"

Vyvyan groaned while Rick lightly prodded his stomach 

"How is that?"

(Vyvyan felt embarrassed usually with medical problems he would be open about them but this particular stomach pain was an exception, at least he'd be able to find out the cause)

Vyvyan cringed  "it feels like crap"

Rick sighed and said,

"I know, I heard from Neil the person in charge of alternative medicine when he talked to you that something was up."

Vyvyan sighed before he nodded 

Rick looked at his old notes and at one of his textbooks focusing on the page about viruses. 

Vyvyan tilted his head,

"I have a virus but what virus is it?"

Rick read the page "It's an astrovirus, it's a very unpleasant stomach virus to have, it involves vomiting, nausea" he paused, and diarrhoea

it usually leaves in a few days if given the right treatment."

Vyvyan looked away realizing the stomach pain was connected to his "astrovirus"

Rick closed the textbook,

"Now I think I know how to help"

Vyvyan tilted his head and said,

"How?"

Rick pointed to the enema hanging near Vyvyan's bed.

Vyvyan was slightly disgusted, he had seen and heard of those strange devices before but never experienced it himself 

"Oh God! you're going to kiss my bottom aren't you?"

Rick chuckled to himself folding his arms before also feeling disgusted "No, this is going to be weird for both of us but it's going to feel a lot better after the enema than the gastro agony now."

Vyvyan shrugged,

"Might as well get it over with"

Rick set up the horrible contraption throwing a bath towel over the bed, while Vyvyan lay on his side groaning as he pondered 

When the nozzle was inserted it felt weird he tried twitching his eyes so he couldn't see what was going on he felt less like his bottom was kissed and more like it was being cleaned out like a stomach pump but for his bottom of all places.

Vyvyan had never had treatment like that before, it was a lot to take in, figuratively and literally the treatment was longer than he thought and it felt strange to feel so much medicine and water being administered into him.

It was a bit awkward and overwhelming but he knew that if he wanted to get better he had to go through with the treatment, and on the bright side at least the doctor giving him the treatment was Rick, someone he actually knew and got along with very well.

as unpleasant as the procedure was, Vyvyan knew Rick knew what he was doing as he delicately focused and he reassured him "Don't worry it's almost over"   

Vyvyan realized it wasn't that bad eventually the procedure was finished.

Rick removed the nozzle and put the contraption away back into the position it was in before, 

Vyvyan sat up "Well that was awful", Rick nodded "Agreed but I've seen worse"

Vyvyan said, "that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but still I've never had an anal cleansing or anything like that done before"

Rick said, "It is quite weird to experience, a lot of medical treatments are strange and unpleasant, I used to squirm at the sight of injections"

Vyvyan laughed at him "haha! is that why you looked away that one night we were watching video nasties because injections were shown?"

Rick scoffed "No of course not", Vyvyan smirked "if your too scared we'll stop rewatching The Driller Killer"

Rick and Vyvyan then had a short arm wrestle, Rick said, "Oh No you don't  I-I could treat this like clockwork Orange" Vyvyan said "Well that wouldn't work I love violent movies"

Rick smirked back, "Matey only one of us is going to win this, Vyvyan won the arm wrestle,Rick was left weeping "how could you,I'm no loser why do you have be so much stronger than me," Vyvyan stopped speaking as he held Rick's sore fist and lightly rubbed it, he cheered up and they started laughing and messing around again

after Vyvyan had more medicine, it sounded like he was closer to recovery than he thought. eventually, after a few days, the virus went away and he felt a lot better his stitches were removed and the headaches wore off.

 Vyvyan realized this Rick bloke wasn't as bad as when he first met him, he had feelings for him he didn't have for anyone else yes they'd tease each other often but they couldn't stop thinking about each other.

Until one day when Rick walked in, he was in casual attire covered by a brown coat with a frown on his face Vyvyan wouldn't often see Rick feeling sad before.

 

Vyvyan said, "Prick why the long face?", Rick bit his lip nervously before he spoke, "Vyvyan, I'll be leaving today it's the end of my course I've done volunteer work here but my time is up I just have to do exams and then that's me looking around for jobs"

Vyvyan frowned he would sometimes joke about Rick's working abilities but he did genuinely think he was good at his job a lot better than the other capitalist fascists anyways. Rick started to sob while Vyvyan put his hand on his shoulder,

"Look I usually hate capitalist doctor quacks but you are one I don't hate, you'll find a job I'm sure of it  I'll miss ya you bastard"

Rick whimpered "and you were one of the patients that didn't nag or viciously attack me I felt like we got to know each other through the weeks we've talked I'll miss you too you fascist"

Rick stood up, "I must be going now" Vyvyan sat in his bed as he flicked a v at Rick before giving a wave smiling at him, "Sod off ugly" he fondly said, while Rick waved back cheerfully in response.

the next day Vyvyan had fully recovered and was out of the hospital so he, Neil and Mike arranged the housing plans and off they went to buy furniture and cooking supplies.

he had more ideas for his life he wasn't going to let anything stop him.


	7. Chapter 7: Reuniting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Vyvyan meet up again years later

Rick, on the other hand, had changed a bit he decided to take inspiration from Vyvyan and be more expressive about himself  he'd often wear a blazer with colourful badges on including some of a political nature with a red beret

he'd listen to Dexy's and cliff Richard without care but he didn't mind listening to a few Sex Pistols, Runaways, and The Clash tracks to add some flair

he aced the exams but he decided to study another subject...Sociology Vyvyan did the same but with medicine 

Marx was his Santa Claus and he loved learning about the theories of postmodernism and failed revolutions this made him think about how he could take England out of Thatcher's hands 

one day Mike, Neil, and Vyvyan were at a charity event where the likes of Lenny Henry and Suggs from Madness were performing  

Rick was in the audience when he noticed the familiar faces  when the interval of the show was on he ran over to Vyvyan and hugged him but this wasn't like the other times he kissed him too he did get punched but Vyvyan recognized him and so did the others when Vyv told them 

Vyvyan said,

"Prick it's been a while hasn't it"

Rick hugged back,

"It sure has you facist"

Vyvyan grinned,

"You haven't changed a bit"

Rick smirked back,

"Neither have you I was wondering when we'd reunite it's been lonely without you"

Vyvyan nodded and said, "Would you like to live with me, Neil and Mike in Bristol?"

Rick nodded as he and Vyvyan danced to the sound of "Our House".

They'd still prank each other...a lot and Rick was way whinier than before but they still loved each other....they then got the chance to have their own comedy sitcom produced by the BBC 

little did they know Doctor Balowski was their pushy landlord...they then got the lucky opportunity to do a cover of Living Doll with Cliff Richard himself 

 Rick and Vyvyan were in the recording studio as the song came to an end

"Got the one and only walkin', talkin', living doll" 

 Rick started scoffing while he advertised the record "and if you don't buy this record your utter, utter, utter bastards"

only for Vyvyan to hit him with a hammer and then himself.

 In the later decades, Rick would take part in protests and would visit political conferences while Vyvyan would go to gigs while he'd sometimes still volunteer and participate in NHS sponsored events 

when the country finally gave them their opportunity they were able to be engaged.

Reverend Balowski said,

"Do you Vyvyan Basterd take Rick Pratt as your lawful wedded spouse?"

Vyvyan shouted,

"of course I bloody do"

Reverend Balowski turned to Rick,

"and do you, Rick Pratt, take Vyvyan Basterd as your?"

Rick interrupted,

"Yes, Yes can we get to the snogging please"

he then snogged Vyvyan while the song "I can make you a man (reprise)" from the Rocky Horror Picture Show musical played 

Neil, Mike, Helen, The Easter Bunny, Vyvyan's pals and Rick's internet followers all clapped 

Back in that time of 1980, they wanted to destroy the other now they just wanted to snog and cuddle each other they couldn't be happier

 

The End~


End file.
